Getting It Done in 2021

What a year that was! Like most of us, I am glad to say “good riddance” to 2020. This pandemic has wreaked havoc on our society in so many ways, and it will take years to recover.

Yet I am also grateful for some of the “silver linings” of this past year. In particular, the pandemic gave me the impetus to write my first (and long overdue) book: Love in the Time of Corona: Advice from a Sex Therapist for Couples in Quarantine. With the help of my team we also created the DearDrDiana advice website and a YouTube channel, all dedicated to helping couples take advantage of their time together to improve their love lives. I’m pleased with the feedback I’ve gotten about how these efforts have helped many get their relationships back on track.

So now, as we wish each other “Happy New Year,” I would like to look ahead with some words of encouragement: Get it done in 2021. Take whatever lessons you’ve learned from this disruption (both globally and personally) and apply them to your goals for the coming year.

I understand that you may have suffered in 2020. It’s heartbreaking to contemplate the lost lives, financial devastation, broken relationships, and diminished health that have affected so many. Yet I remain an optimist, a staunch believer in the resilience of the human spirit.

What would you like to “get done” in 2021? The year before us is wide open with possibilities. Let me know in the comments below.

I know one thing I would like to see get done: The revitalization of loving, intimate relationships. How much happier people would be!

If you’re seeking a partner, use this time to reflect on what qualities you want in that person. Don’t be afraid to state what you really want. If you own your true desires—and make them clear from the start—you are much more likely to find a lover who has compatible desires, and who is open to experiencing the deep and satisfying intimacy possible for a well-matched couple.

If you’re in a relationship, I urge you to make the most of your increased togetherness. Take a chance that you can reconnect to more sensual and sexual pleasure with each other. Imagine how good that would feel.

As a sex therapist with 35 years of experience helping thousands of couples, I can tell you one thing: It’s much harder and much more painful for a sexually repressed couple to remain that way than it is to do the work.

Are you ready to take the first step? Check out my Quarantine Sex Tips video series on YouTube. Explore the numerous exercises, suggestions, and nuggets of advice in my book. (One reviewer called it “a year’s worth of sex therapy in one volume!”)

Start those heartfelt conversations with your partner where you agree to be vulnerable and kind with each other. Where you are intentional about rekindling some of the sparks that flew when you first fell in love. Where you have fun exploring new and playful pathways to reconnect. Where you open your hearts … to find more love in the time of corona.

Again, what are some things you’d like to “get done” this year? I look forward to hearing from you.

—Dr. Diana